SELF-DOUBT & CONFIDENCE
Who doesn’t struggle? Here is one approach to managing self-doubt and stepping up anyway… stepping up into confidence.
It’s common to struggle with self doubt and a lack of confidence. We often have a tendency to focus on not being good enough. And we worry about having enough confidence to do what we really want.
Self doubt…
You know that moment where you stop doing what you want to do because all of a sudden you think, “OMG, I can’t do this. I’m not up to this. No-one’s going to listen to me. No-one’s going to understand me.”
That moment of self doubt that stops you dead in your tracks as you are about to walk out the door, or stand up in front of the class or lecture or meeting, or about to walk on stage or the playing field or race track.
Evidence & self doubt
Sometimes there’s a really uncomfortable thought that contradicts the rational and logical evidence that you are actually ok. The evidence that others could so easily provide if you asked them. That graduation certificate, your marks, those awards, those medals and trophies, the fact you were cast in a role or selected for the job. The number of people who tell you that you are good at what you do. It can be hard to remember this evidence when the self doubt takes over.
Thoughts & self doubt
Sometimes there’s a thought or collection of thoughts that can be so intrusive. It’s that thought I sometimes have moments prior to clicking on publish or post or start for a live video. It’s that thought that maybe I’ll not be able to fill the word count or the 10-15mins of video, or that what I’m sharing won’t speak to anyone.
Taking the leap… or not… self doubt…
In that moment, it can be hard to just take the leap into the unknown… there’s so much out there. But I reason with myself that if what I want to say or what I’ve written might be helpful to me it might be helpful to someone else, and even if it’s helpful to just one person, it’s worth it. So I prepare to take the leap…
Slow down, breathe… leap into confidence…
So I take a slow breath and notice my racing heart and click on publish, or post or start the live video and just jump in. And sometimes I don’t get a response, but I know that sometimes it’s pretty hard for readers, watchers or listeners to say ‘yes, that’s me’ or ‘thankyou, that’s really helpful’, or “OMG, you get it”. I know that you might silently notice and take the message on board… It might make a difference to you, quietly.
“I am worthwhile”
I remind myself that there is plenty of evidence that I am worthwhile, that I do have the knowledge, that I do have the insight and the skills to help… even if it is hard to see sometimes. And after I’ve clicked post or publish or save and post a video I take another slow breath and remind myself that if I’ve helped at least one person then that’s ok.
I’ve helped myself to manage those uncomfortable and unpleasant thoughts and emotions by taking that slow breath, noticing my heart racing and acting anyway. Every time I do this it gets that little bit easier. So here’s to managing our self-doubt and stepping up anyway!
Yours in courage,
Nonie Carr
Counselling Psychologist & Possibility Coach
P.S. If this has touched a nerve with you, or might be helpful for someone you know, please share it. And if you’d like to learn more about how you can learn to manage those thoughts please send me an email at
no***@en*********.com
or contact me here.